Yesterday I went to my 39 week checkup. For those of you who don't want the gory details of a pelvic exam- stop reading now. :)
I think this was the only time I'll ever be excited about getting an exam from the OB-GYN! I have been very curious for the last few weeks to see if there is any progress toward delivering this baby, so I was actually kinda looking forward to it. Much to my dismay I am not dilated at all. Not even one measly centimeter. Ugh. The appointment overall turned out to be a little emotional and scary. My doctor sent me to have an ultrasound after measuring my belly and finding that I measured small. Which could have either meant he was not very big or he didn't have much amniotic fluid left. I immediately freaked out, of course. I was excited to be having the ultrasound so that I could get a little peek at my babe but I ended up barely being able to look at the screen because I was on the verge of passing out. That's what happens to me when I panic. I sweat, my mind races, I can't get a grip and I pass out. I couldn't think why on earth, the baby of two tall, not small people would be small. I was really scared for him- for us. But, everything ended up being fine. In fact, my doctor was completely off. Our little baby is actually quite a BIG baby. He already weighs 8 pounds!!! And showing no sign of moving out until at least his due date or possibly later. Also, he has plenty of amniotic fluid. I was really relieved to hear the good news but it took me half the morning to mentally recuperate. As I sat there waiting to hear the results of the ultrasound, I wondered how many times in his life I'd be worried out of my mind for his safety. I thought about how I really needed to be a strong Mom for him and handle it. I thought about how much I love him and desperately wanted him to be ok. I am so thankful he is. This Mom thing is gonna be tough.
So, I feel like the last couple of weeks has been loooong! I really don't want to rush him getting here but I am feeling really anxious. I am curious when I will go into labor, what it will feel like and how I will handle it. I am a little scared. I am also excited about meeting him.
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