This morning, I finally did it. I got myself out of bed at 6am and put on my running shoes. And then, I drove myself back to FitWit Bootcamp for the first time in one year and three months. I've been threatening exercise for, oh, about five months now. It's been a struggle and a learning process about what my needs were after the baby was born. I knew that I wanted to get back to exercising as soon as I could, but I didn't realize how difficult it would be. In hindsight, I wish I had just eased up on myself and trusted that I would go back when the time was right. I think I was just scared I'd never go back or that it would be years later and 20 pounds heavier, ya know?? But, with breastfeeding behind me and a baby whom usually sleeps through the night, there was nothing in my way but a little fear of the unknown. Will I be able to get myself out of bed? Will my abs split in two upon completing a sit up? Will I be able to run? At all?? Will I fail?
So, exactly two years after starting my weight-loss journey with FitWit for the first time, I am back at bootcamp. I'm proud to say that even after having a baby, I am still 20 pounds lighter than when I started the first time. Trust me, that makes running a WHOLE lot easier this time around. It's encouraging that the hard work I put in before the baby has lasted this long. I still struggle with food; I guess I always will- but at least I've learned that about myself.
A lot happens in two years, but it sort of seems just like yesterday that Heather and I started this thing. I had to go back and read my blog entries about starting bootcamp in 2007. This is one of the reasons I love keeping a journal- it helps me have a little perspective on my life. It's good to go back and hear yourself in the past. I'm using those words as encouragement for myself this time around. Starting at square one is tough, but I did it before- and I will do it again. Besides, the hardest part is already done. Getting started.
So, good luck and strength to any of you who are facing this challenge, too. It's a rough one but a journey worth working for. Happy 2009!
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