I'm still here

We survived December although I have no idea how. I'm not talking about a December filled-with-so-much-Christmas-fun-you-just-don't-know-how-you're-going-to-fit-all-the-parties-in-December. I'm talking about a December filled with so many rough patches I thought I'd lose my mind. I definitely lost my Christmas spirit. I'm looking back now thinking, "can I have a do over?"

Mid-December brought the news that the salon that I worked at was closing down. In three weeks. It came as a surprise even after months of rumors and speculation among our staff. I never thought I'd cry when I was told it wasn't happening anymore. But I did. It's hard not to feel a little attached to something that you've spent 5 years of your life building. I knew in my heart that it was for the best but my head was spinning at the thought of trying to find the perfect job, my new home, in a mere 3 weeks over the holidays. Merry Christmas, you're fired.

Almost exactly one week later, I miscarried a baby that we had been hoping to tell everyone about on Christmas day. Our hearts were broken into a million pieces. I'm not even sure where to begin to talk about that here. But, it happened and I think most of you already know about it. Life had to go on- at a breakneck pace- whether I was ready for it or not.

I spent the remainder of December scrambling to get a job and get settled enough to take my clients who were already scheduled on January 2nd. I ended up sort of starting my own business- which was a huge, complicated and awesome experience. Something I'm still working on.

New Year's Eve was a blur. We spent it at home with a few friends and our sweet boy. New Year's last year with him was so fun we HAD to spend it with him again this year. I did make it to midnight and fell fast asleep soon after. Wooh, made it to 2010.

Every day since January 2nd has gotten better and better. Life has and is slowly returning to its normal pace. The past week I feel like I am finally waking up from a long winter's dream. I see my boy again and take deep breaths of his sweetness and remember how great our lives are. The show is going on. Life is going on. And I couldn't be happier about it.